Checking in . . .

It has been two weeks since the end of the Cleanse. My rational brain is very pleased with how I've been doing. I've been making mostly healthy choices and I've been very active. As you may recall, I started walking around my complex a few weeks into the Cleanse. When I finished 21 days of walking - which was about 6 days ago, I started doing two laps - one running and one walking. I was so nervous when I resolved to go out for that first run. I haven't been running since I moved to Pennsylvania - and probably even a year or two before that. That's a long time. Probably 6 years and a good 50 pounds ago. I was nervous about not being able to make it around the complex - and I was also nervous about people watching me. The first few days were a struggle. My back and my chest were in pain and it took a lot of willpower to keep my feet moving. On day number 4, I found my stride. Four seems to be the magic number with me. On the fourth day of the Cleanse, my headaches disappeared and I felt eased into what I was doing. On my fourth day of running, I felt like I could run forever. I crave it now. I went hiking today - so I was going to skip the run. But as the sun was setting, I just wanted to go. I wanted to feel the adrenaline rush. So I went.

My emotional brain is a real party pooper. There are ups and downs. Some days, I'll be at the gym and I'll look at myself in the mirror while I'm using one of the machines and I'll think, "Wow . . .my legs look so skinny!" And I can feel my pants sliding down on my hips. And I know I'm lifting more weight. But there are also days when I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and be disgusted with what I see. It's hard to ignore that nasty little part of you that says you will never change. The weight loss has slowed down considerably. (To a healthy, normal rate.) But to go from seeing four or five pounds come off every week . . .to now seeing only a pound, or a fraction of a pound difference - it can be much less exciting and somewhat disheartening. (Although totally normal.)

So rationally, I'm doing great. I'm now safely at 239, which is 1.2 pounds down from the end of the Cleanse and 15 pounds in total. (And that includes a 4th of July feast, an unfortunate brownie incident, and a trip to the diner.) I'm really looking forward to the 220s . . .