The Comfort Zone

It's been too long! I've been running on autopilot. Running, yoga, running, yoga, running, yoga. But this morning, I woke up early and decided to get my grocery shopping in before my Sunday morning level 0-1-2 yoga class. I got carried away and by the time I got back into my car - I was 15 minutes late. So instead of giving up and going home, I decided to push myself and attempt the Sunday morning level 2-3 "Yoga Church." And on the mat, I realized the importance of pushing out of the comfort zone. If we don't push out of our comfort zone, we will never grow.

August was a steady month. I ran comfortable miles, I went to comfortable yoga classes, I skipped a couple of workouts, and I ate whatever I wanted as long as it was vegan. And I stayed at 195 pounds. And I stayed at 195 pounds. And I stayed at 195 pounds. So September is Push Month. I started doing speed miles and discovered I could run a 10:26 mile. And I started going to Level 2 yoga classes and realized I could get into Crow Pose. And the final piece - this afternoon, I was walking along the street at the Hackettstown Fair and I saw a table for the 24-hour gym in town. I entered the raffle for a free year-long membership and asked about the monthly rate. I was shocked to learn it's only $20! So that's it. I've been missing runs because I can't get up early enough to run before school and with yoga and the late working nights, I don't get home early enough to run before it gets dark. So the gym it is.

If we don't push, we won't learn what our bodies can do. We won't grow. It's back-to-school season . . .for all of us.

Health Love Soul

This is almost a week post-fast and I feel great. I gained a few pounds back, but that was expected. The best thing about not fasting is running. I only missed two or three runs on the fast, but they were REALLY missed. It felt great to get back on the streets. I set a new personal best distance at 6.6 miles. I'm running a 5k in late September and a 10k in late October in Sleepy Hollow. I'm really excited for the 10k because you run along the same path that Ichabod Crane was being chased by the Headless Horseman. Awesome.

I'm taking my training plan for the 10k from Jeff Galloway's book Galloway's 5k/10k Running. The plan is to do two 45-minute runs (about 3.6 miles for me) a week with a long-distance run on the weekend. The long-distance goes from 6 miles and gradually increases over 10 weeks with a few shorter distances sprinkled in. Running a 5k is nothing for me now. It's actually a "light" day. And tonight it felt amazing. I got down to a 13-minute mile and the air was cooler than it has been all summer - and the sky was beautiful:

Everything else is going according to plan. I'm following Gary Gibson's 90-day fitness plan with the resistance band and going to yoga 3 or 4 times a week. And eating lots of yummy vegan food - pictures of which you can see here:

10 Day Fast: The Results

I started this fast at 205 pounds and this morning I weighed in at . . .

196!

So that's 9 pounds lost in 10 days - most of which will probably come back on over the next few days. I broke the fast with the sweetest banana I've ever eaten. And then Chuck and I splurged at Veggie Heaven and I had an avocado roll and a sweet potato roll. I was so excited for rice and soy sauce and sweet potato and avocado that I almost forgot to take a picture. But I got it, and I'll feature it with the rest of my vegan meals at the end of the week. I'm so happy to be eating again. Actually, above anything else - I'm excited to get back to running tomorrow night! Need to feel my feet hitting the pavement. I'm not doing anything over 3 days again for at least a year. I didn't feel like I really needed it. It was preventative. I didn't want to lose my motivation or gratitude - but my body was strong and my food choices were healthy. So it was really hard this time around. Next time, I'll wait for my body to tell me when it's time.

10 Day Fast: Day 10

When I was planning this short, memorial fast - 10 days seemed like nothing. Who knew how long 10 days could really be? It felt like forever. This was hard! Looking back, it took at least 10 days the first time around for me to start feeling like a normal person while fasting.

I'm looking forward to eating. I plan to eat a banana, a luna bar, an avocado, some baby carrots, possibly some hummus, and a bowl of homemade coconut corn chowder tomorrow. Maybe some nuts, too.

Now it REALLY feels like Christmas Eve. I'll post the results in terms of numbers tomorrow. When I'm happy again.

10 Day Fast: Day 9

Yes. So close to the end. It feels like Christmas Eve. Today, Chuck and I went out to for the Animals sanctuary in Blairstown. It was amazing petting the goats, cows, and chickens. The pigs were sleeping. I've been reading "Eating Animals" by Jonathan Saffron Foer so it was perfect timing for our first visit to the sanctuary. It's amazing how the human race dissociates to feel comfortable living with cruelty - not just in animal agriculture, but in many ways. I was dissociating even as a vegetarian - globally, socially, personally. It's what we do to protect ourselves. We think it's helping us to survive. But it's really disconnecting us from ourselves and each other. And one benefit of the juice fast was a reconnection . . .which is still in process. Tomorrow is the last day. I'm passing the time by watching my lovely avocados ripening on the kitchen table. And drooling.

10 Day Fast: Day 8

This morning was rough. I was watching the minutes tick by - wishing the day would just be over already - totally missing the point of this "memorial" fast. The point was to remember what it felt like to feel slow and weak, and then feel the rush of nutrition physically changing my body when I drank a juice. The point was to remember the trips to the Farmer's Market - enjoying all the fresh fruits and vegetables. The point was to remember the release of the addiction to food. This afternoon, it all came together. I heard from many resources that it's not a good idea to train and fast. It's counterproductive. It won't feel good. But I was so afraid of losing the routine I had built, I did it anyway. And I was feeling more tired with every passing day. Finally, this afternoon - a running day - I decided I was just going to take a walk. As I was walking, I started to feel more empowered. Less pushed. I noticed the feeling of loose cotton against my skin, the cool breeze, the strength in my legs as I walked up hills - and this guy:

I stocked up on all the fruits and veggies I'll need for the last few days of the fast and had a good time planning dinner for the transition period. I'm making a coconut corn chowder on Tuesday night. I can't wait. Mmm . . .

10 Day Fast: Day 7

My body really doesn't appreciate being pushed to be so active without the proper amounts of nutrients coming in. I'm aching, aching, aching head to toe. And cranky. I tend to become a hermit when I'm juicing because I don't want to be anywhere without access to juice, don't want to start feeling tired, don't want to be tempted by food. But I decided today I would go out and have fun with Chuck, since the Halloween season is fast approaching, and our days are numbered. We found a cute little juice bar where Chuck was able to get a soy thai "chicken" wrap . . .that looked and smelled freaking amazing - much to my dismay. And I got this:

A wheatgrass shot and a pineapple-ginger juice. Then we decided to play a little indoor-mini golf in honor of the rain. Aside from vertigo from all the black lights, it was a nice afternoon.

I took a break from all things physical - unless you call swinging a minigolf club physical. Tomorrow I'll get back out there and run. Ugh, I'm not doing another entended juice fast for a long, long time. Maybe 3 days at a time - but not another big one for at least a year.

10 Day Fast: Day 6

I'm starting to remember the joy of making juice. It took a while to get back into the groove - but while cleaning the juicer this afternoon, I felt the rhythm. I'm starting Gary's 90-day fitness plan on Tuesday after the end of the fast. Going through the excersises with him today, I was sweating like crazy. I'm looking forward to it. But my muscles are definitely weaker on the fast. I think I'm going to run tomorrow night instead of going to the level 2/3 yoga. Running actually takes less effort, less muscle, less endurance than 90 minutes on the yoga mat. Even during tonight's restorative yoga I felt light-headed moving from lying down to hands and knees. Taking it easy tomorrow!

10 Day Fast: Day 5

Yay! Today marks the halfway point! It's all downhill from here. I did another run tonight - no problems. Definitely more tired than normal, but still strong. Debating whether to go to Level 2/3 yoga on Friday. I don't know if my fasting muscles can handle it! I'm craving salt and fat. Nuts and avocado. Mmmm . . .I'm having an avocado first thing on Tuesday morning.

10 Day Fast: Day 4

Everything is going well on Day 4. Getting past the hunger phase - just a couple moments of "need to eat right now!" When the goal is longer, the shorter distances seem easier. When running 5 miles, 3 miles seems like nothing. When hiking for 3 days, day 1 is a breeze. And apparently the same goes for fasting. When I was doing 60 days, 10 days seemed like nothing. Now that I'm only doing 10, it feels like forever! Added an extra apple to tonight's vegetable juice and that made it nice and sweet. Halfway point tomorrow!

10 Day Fast: Day 3

Day 3 is usually the shifting day. After today, things start to get easier. I did my run - 5.5 miles. I put on some Sean Johnson and the Wild Lotus Band and Omed along in my head while easing into comfort. My mantra was, "Do I feel comfortable?" I had to really pay attention to my body because I didn't want to overdo it. And I felt great! I predict I'll feel really sore in the morning, though. I have to remember to drink enough water. Drink. more. water.

10 Day Fast: Day 2

It never ceases to amaze me how much you can feel your body on a juice fast. About 7:00pm I started to feel really tired, had a little bit of a headache, and I was starving! I got to work making my evening juice - carrots, celery, red and green lettuce, tomatoes, apples, a slice of lemon, and a slice of lime. As soon as I was finished the juice - about 16 ounces - I felt refreshed, energized, powerful.

I noticed that yoga was hard this morning. My muscles were sore. I'm going to attempt to run tomorrow - but no attachment to speed or distance!

10 Day Fast: Day 1

I'm starting the fast at 205 pounds. Started the day with my regular routine and actually increased my mileage a little bit to 5.4, due to a dog I didn't want to run past. I had a delicious mango-blueberry juice for breakfast, which I don't recommend because it's way too expensive. I did it because I didn't end up making a blueberry-mango salad I had planned for last week and needed to use the fruit.

The intention for this fast is only to remember the feelings that transformed my relationship with food, body, self. Remember the appreciation for whole fruits and vegetables. Remember the sensation of nutrition entering the body. Remember the gratitude for food that heals. No attachment to weight loss or anything else. Just honoring the experience that changed my life!

I had to take a nap in the afternoon, but was really productive the rest of the day. Picked up lots of great items from yard sales for the classroom - including some mega-blocks and a LeapFrog! And some nice wooden puzzles. And a great book find - Make Way for Ducklings in perfect condition, only 50 cents.

So far, so good. I'm feeling first day hunger pains for sure, so I'm going to go have a juice and read a book before bed. Yoga in the morning!

Yoga

So first, to get the numbers out of the way: I lost one pound this week, bringing my grand total to 55 pounds lost in a little less than five months. I weigh 205 now and predict that I'll be under 200 by the end of July with the help of my 10-day fast.

Second, I had to get a physical for employment with the Newark Public School District and when the doctor took my blood pressure - it was completely normal. Now, I never had seriously high blood pressure - at least not high enough that I was ever put on medication to regulate it. But every single time I would go to the doctor, they would mention that it was a "little" high. I'm talking about since the age of 8. 20 years of, "It's a little high . . .let's keep an eye on it." And today - not even a little high. Perfect. Thank you, veganism, running, and yoga!

Third, my 10 day fast is starting next week and I opened a group on Facebook for anyone who wants to try this with me. Just e-mail me or message me on Facebook and I'll invite you to the group if you're interested.

So finally, I have to share a profound experience I had on Friday. On Thursday, I was stuck at the CVS Minute Clinic waiting for the results of my mandatory TB test when I realized that one minute actually means 60 at CVS . . .and I would miss yoga. I was so frustrated because I have been on a religious schedule of yoga and running since the end of the fast. I needed to get into another class before the weekend, but the only classes open were level 2/3 classes. I decided to go - but with the intention that I would push when I could and rest when I couldn't. The class was amazing. I felt strength in my body I didn't know I had. I could feel the muscles really pushing, really working - and it felt incredible. I had such gratitude for my body, such gratitude for the hot room and the people in it, such gratitude for missing my regular yoga class, and such gratitude for the years of hating my body - so that in this moment, loving it was such a profound sensation that I was close to crying. This is the power of the juice fast for me - moments like this. This new relationship I have with food and my body. I wish I could give this feeling to everyone who struggles with emotional eating, or body image issues, or even people who feel like they need to be on a diet. I'll never diet again. I'll never take this body for granted again.

Summer Sandwiches Part One

It's been rough running in this heat! I'm up to just over 5 miles three times a week. I'm going to hold fast at 5 miles until the end of the summer and then start increasing again when it cools down.

It's sandwich week in the Vegan Kitchen! Lots of new, tasty recipes. I had an amazing sandwich made from pizza crust, vegan cheese, balsamic vinegar, arugala, and tomatoes.

July 14 will mark the beginning of my 10-day July juice fast. Looking forward to the simplicity of juice. I need to find a really good book to read during my fast.

And finally, I'm down to 206 pounds. So steadily dropping. Hoping to be under 200 by the end of the fast. And that is all I have to report. Nice and quick this week.

Crunching the Numbers

The last time I weighed myself was on May 12 and I weighed in at 216.6 pounds. This morning, 6 weeks later, I weigh 209.2 pounds. So that's 7.4 pounds lost since May 12. And that works out to be 1.23 pounds per week. So that's OK. That's normal. It's much, much slower than during the fast - painfully slow, in fact. During the fast, I would lose 7.4 pounds in less than two weeks. But I'm not fasting anymore. I'm enjoying my life. I eat salty food, sweet food, fatty food, comfort food, homemade food, take-out food. And I don't regret it.

I'm comfortably running 4.5 miles three times a week. Above everything else, I fear the "do more" mentality. I'm resisting the urge to run more and to eat less. Because I think I'm in a healthy place. A place of non-dieting. A place of non-exhaustion. I'm in a place of comfort. Of health and happiness.

So next goals: I'm planning to increase my mileage a little this week. I'm planning to add a walk on my yoga days. I fell off the wagon a little this week, going out to eat a lot and relying on quick fix wraps or sandwiches instead of homemade meals. So this week I'm rallying my energy and vowing to cook!

Finally, I'm planning to start my 10-Day July Juice Fast on July 14. I'm having a Q&A event locally on June 30 - and also, anyone interested in juicing can ask virtual questions on the Facebook page. Looking forward to getting back to the juice.

Trusting the Body

One more week until I step on the scale.

When I trust my body, I eat a spoonful of peanut butter, I run at a pace that feels good, I notice my ability to step up into a forward fold from a downward dog in two steps, I wear t-shirts I bought years ago but could never wear, and I notice the comfort of chairs that once pinched my hips and thighs.

But there are also many moments of doubt. Sometimes I find myself trapped in old patterns of thought. Warrior II is the worst position to see myself in. When I catch myself in the reflection, with my arms outstretched, I see every bump and curve and roll. It looks like the same old body. The same body I had four months ago.

I see the scale as the judge. If the number is lower, I can trust my body. If the number is not lower, then I can't. I don't want the number to matter, but if I don't have affirmation, how can I know if I'm doing the right things?

Ugh! I'm planning to start the 10-day July Juice Fast on July 14th. So get ready! Next week the numbers will be in . . .

Vegan Comfort Food

These past few weeks have been incredibly stressful. I've been sleep deprived, overworked, and now I'm getting sick. The interview process is intense. I check my e-mail thousands of times a day - hoping to see that next interview invitation or potential job offer. And nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Am I doing enough? Am I missing something? Am I good enough? The self-inflicted mind games are worse than the interviews themselves.

Last Wednesday, after an interview, I had the strongest craving I’ve had since February. My adrenaline was surging and I needed to regulate. Needed to numb the intense feeling of blood pumping through my veins. I desperately wanted French fries and a diet coke. Luckily, I had a bag of trail mix in the car and my water bottle was full. So I stuffed a handful of nuts and fruit into my mouth, gulped the water, kicked off my shoes, turned up the music – and just drove home.

I know I’ve been eating more recklessly lately. More in quantity. More comfort foods. But still vegan. Still mostly homemade. And I’ve bumped up to a 4-mile run, 3 times a week. Still going to yoga 3 times a week. I’ll be weighing-in about two weeks from now. I’m trying to trust my body. Trying to live by the mantra that the way I feel is more important than the number on the scale. But I don’t completely trust myself. I need to see the number decreasing to confirm that I’m actually making the right choices.

I feel strong. I’m putting together plans for my July juice fast and will keep everyone posted. Hope I get some companions! I’ll be happy to get back to the juice for a while.

Taking the Stairs

So my scale has been MIA for at least two weeks, thanks to Chuck. The point of this experiment is to learn to trust my body. In Geneen Roth's book, Women, Food, and God, she talks about compulsive eaters feeling like broken people. And how can a fundamentally broken person be trusted to make decisions? They can't. So I have a hard time trusting that I can stop eating when I'm full, that I can make the choice not to eat french fries, that I can make the choice to run. That my body can be trusted - even now, three months later. So by not relying on the numbers flashing across the scale, I am forced to really trust my body.

And this is what I have noticed. Last week, I was walking around the MSU campus when I noticed that I didn't feel winded at all. MSU is a very hilly place, so lack of heavy breathing while moving between buildings is something worthy to note. I also took four flights of stairs to my car in the parking garage, and felt strong - with normal breathing intact. I've been running the 5k loop three times a week with relatively little discomfort. Also, I get the urge to move more. I get an itch to walk, or desperate to get into the yoga studio.

In vegan kitchen news, this week's highlight was definitely the Mediterranean Veggie Tacos - so, so yummy! Just eggplant, red peppers, onions, and diced tomatoes in a taco with hummus, vegan sour cream, and vegan shredded cheese. I've been eating the leftovers all weekend. For Memorial Day, I'm planning a little picnic feast with potato salad - but I couldn't find any vegan mayo in the local supermarket. I'm proud to say that I ended up just making my own. I can't believe I actually have all the ingredients just sitting around in my kitchen to make vegan mayo. This is my life now. Here's this week's food overview - if you see anything you like, let me know and I'll send over the recipe:

My Vegan Kitchen: Week 4

It has been one month since the end of the juice fast. The yoga detox has come to an end. Next goal: 5k in Newark on June 3rd. I've been running 2 miles three times a week for two weeks and tomorrow I'll bump up to 3.2 miles - just over 5k. I'll run that three times a week until the race and then I'll rotate - continuing to build speed and distance. My long term goal is the Broad Street 10-miler in Philadelphia next year.

Going to yoga four times a week has been transformative. I've never felt so much in my life. Gratitude, love, irritation, peace, anger, sadness. Every emotion magnified. Currently barely keeping my head above water in the last month of this 18-month grad school program.

I'm planning to do a short 10-day juice fast in July. If anyone is interested in joining me, I might try to make it a group effort. I'll provide recipes, a daily morning walk/meditation for anyone in my area, and hopefully a space for group support - maybe a Facebook group. I think it would be fun to do this with other people.

Here's a short video of all the amazing food I ate this week - best meal was definitely the sweet pea soup, hands down:

Our Bodies Don't Lie

I just finished an amazing book by Geneen Roth: Women Food and God. I'm realizing some of the ways I used food to feed empty places, to hide, to fill, to punish. And now, how I'm trying to use food to heal, to nourish, to honor, to love. It's like a veil has been lifted. Although, I'm still struggling with food paranoia. If I eat this pretzel stick, will I become a hunger-crazed lunatic ordering french fries off every fast food menu in the state of New Jersey? Will this teaspoon of peanut butter cause my weight to skyrocket back up to 260 pounds overnight? Am I really hungry? I mean, I know my stomach is growling . . .but am I REALLY hungry? And the scale doesn't help. When I get on the scale and it reflects back to me that I still weigh 216.6 pounds - I get angry. And anger is a pre-juice fast state of being. I start to think those old, hateful thoughts . . .do more, do more, do more - you fat waste of space!

So then I have to take a deep breath. And get off the scale. And keep going. Because I'm good. Now. At 216.6 pounds. So I'll eat what a good person gets to eat. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds - and sometimes a teaspoon of peanut butter. And because my weight is irrelevant in my post-juice fast world, I am emancipating myself from the scale. Chuck has hidden it from me. And that's the end of the story. So now, if I need to know how I'm doing - I'm going to have to ask my own body.

Here's my weekly video update with some clips from Geneen Roth's book and - of course - pictures of food! I don't know what's up with my recording devices. My audio and video aren't syncing. It's very sad. But no way I'm starting over - so just close your eyes if it bothers you and enjoy!

You "Think" You Are What You Eat

It has now been two weeks since the end of my 60-day juice fast and I feel great. I weighed in for the first time since ending the fast and I lost another 2 pounds, which brings my total lost to 42 pounds in 2 and a half months.

Not to be misleading, I still have moments of hunger, craving, paranoia around food, feelings of failure, feelings of self-doubt - basically, a natural human experience. I think about food 90% of my day. I'm thinking food, eating food, cooking food, buying food, writing about food, talking about food, taking pictures of food. But for the first time, I'm doing these things from a place of love instead of hate.

Before the fast, I was living in a place of "I'm not good enough." I need to be thinner, more outgoing, smarter, more talented . . .So I need to do more, push harder, be better. Living became an internally angry experience. Every diet was born of disgust, punishment, and a need to change my body and mind - because I wasn't worthy the way I was.

During the fast, I didn't feel these moments of spiritual enlightenment that other people boasted they felt. I didn't feel changed. But as I started to eat food again, I began to realize that a transformation had, in fact, taken place. I realized that my entire experience of food had shifted. When I eat now, I eat for love. I want to put food into my body that nourishes and heals. I don't want fast food, processed food, dairy - because those foods don't heal, they hurt. This is the first time in 29 years of life that I have experienced food this way.

I was feeding my body what I felt I was worth. I didn't have time for myself. I didn't care about me, so I didn't care what I put into my body. So I ate fast food, frozen food, canned food, processed food, dairy. Food was like a punishment. Something to shut down my mind. To keep it from demanding respect. But now, food is a gift. I'm worth asparagus fresh from the local farm. I'm worth the steaming pot of broccoli on the stove. I'm worth the raw cashews, the raw almonds, the fresh strawberries, bananas, and grapes. I'm worth the 45 minutes it might take to create a delicious meal that I could never get from the drive-through window.

And you are, too.

I did a video update for this week with pictures of all the food I made and another before and after picture. The audio is not great - it's the first time I used my computer to film. But enjoy anyway!

Raw Week Recap

Here's a video recap of Raw Week:


So now, I'm starting to cook food again! This is day one of my "retox." For dinner I made steamed broccoli with a cheesy sauce (coconut milk and nutritional yeast). I got the recipe from Mark Reinfeld and Jennifer Murray's book, The 30 Minute Vegan. It was tasty.

My Raw, Vegan Kitchen: Big Macs

I've been waiting for this meal all week! I wanted to end Raw Week with a bang. So the "Big Matt" - Matt Amsden's version of a Big Mac is basically a dehydrated nut loaf burger with all the fixings - lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, onions, sunflower seed cheese, ketchup and mustard. And it was amazing! Again, I used the flax seed pita rounds instead of my homemade onion bread - so a little cheat, but it was worth it. I loved it. At this point, I think Chuck is just humoring me. I think everything tastes so amazing to me because I haven't eaten the processed foods I'm used to since February. So these flavors and textures are just heavenly to me.

I started running again yesterday - 1.3 miles. My plan is to run Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in preparation for our UTR team 5k in Newark on June 3. The rest of the days - Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays are dedicated to yoga. No weigh in tomorrow - I'm waiting for May 5 in hopes that I even out and start to lose again. No need for mental anguish because of the numbers on a scale!

I start cooking again tomorrow! Steamed "cheesy" broccoli is on the menu.

My Raw, Vegan Kitchen: Sloppy Joes

Tonight I made a sloppy joe sandwich and coleslaw. The sloppy joe was amazing - thanks to the smoked paprika I found. The coleslaw was not good at all. Bland. Too much olive oil. Technically, tonight was not a raw meal because I splurged on some wheat buns I found. I didn't make the onion bread thick enough to support a sandwich. Tomorrow is my last meal of Raw Week. Then I'll transition to vegan cooking and have some beans and cooked grains for the first time. Looking forward to quinoa!

My Raw, Vegan Kitchen: French Onion Soup

Gross. I made a French onion soup and a salad for dinner. I couldn't handle it. Way too bitter for me. And I just couldn't get over the fact that it was cold. Chuck ended up heating his up and he couldn't finish it either. No more raw soups! I'm very excited about Friday and Saturday's raw meals. One is a "sloppy joe" and the other is a "Big Mac." I made the veggie burgers last night and they are currently in the dehydrator. I had to flip them when I got home and I tasted a piece that fell off. I'm already amazed. It tastes like a real veggie burger. I think it's the mushroom that gives it that meaty flavor. Here's today's disaster:

My Raw, Vegan Kitchen: Tuna Salad

I loved this meal. Chuck didn't dislike it, but the recipe called for half a cup of mustard, of which he is not a fan. I like mustard - so I thought it was delicious! I made a tuna salad with a sesame seed, mustard, lemon juice, coconut water base. The recipe said to soak the seeds for four hours and then dry them, but I didn't have time for that and it turned out fine anyway. I found these Polish dill pickles at the farmers market so we each had one with our salad. So, so yummy. The recipes in this book make so much food. I have lots of leftover tuna salad. If anyone out there wants to try it - let me know and I'll pack a little container for you.

My Raw, Vegan Kitchen: Pizza

Tonight we had a raw, vegan pizza with "cheese" sticks. I used the onion bread base, made a marinara sauce and sunflower seed cheese, and added veggies. The cheese sticks were made from dehydrated sunflower seed cheese. I thought it was good, but Chuck was not a fan. It was pretty salty. I think I would use less soy sauce in the future. Tacos are still number one. I'll have Chuck's uneated pizza for lunch tomorrow. I just made a treat out of almonds, agave nectar, and cinnamon. I need something sweet! So the cinnamon balls are currently hardening in the freezer. I have banned the scale until May 5 because it's just making me crazy. By May 5, I should have a good idea about where my true weight is and which direction it's heading. I'm blissing out at yoga a minimum of three times a week and starting tomorrow, I'm running a mile or more three times a week. Feeling strong. A little less euphoric. There's something otherworldly about drinking only juice. Something spiritual.

My Raw, Vegan Kitchen: Tacos

Tonight I made my first full-fledged meal since coming off the fast. And - IT WAS AMAZING! I think it's actually the best homemade meal I've ever made. And this time, it was truly homemade - the only thing I bought that was slightly processed were the spices and the soy sauce. Everything else was a nut or a vegetable. On the menu I had tacos with chips and guacamole. All raw. All vegan. The "meat" was a walnut mixture with spices and soy sauce - wrapped in a collard green. I made an amazing (almost too spicy) salsa to put on the walnut meat. And I made some "onion bread" tortilla chips in the dehydrator - basically just onions, flax seeds, sunflower seeds, and a little olive oil - which I served with homemade guacamole. Chuck chopped the veggies and I mixed things together. As we were cooking he asked me what he was going to eat when our dinner wasn't enough. We were BOTH stuffed. Filling, delicious, nutritious. I can't wait to throw a party and make this meal! Some pics of our amazing RAW, VEGAN dinner:

All recipes came from Matt Amsden's RAWvolution.

Fasting Resources

The Juicer
There are many, many different kinds of juicers out there - but I used the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer. I got it for less than $100 at Bed, Bath, & Beyond. It's fast, relatively quiet, powerful, and easy to clean. I rarely had to cut produce. I peeled oranges (because the rumor is that the peel is toxic) and I cut apples into quarters - but didn't core them. I also took the peels off pineapples and watermelons and took the pits out of peaches and mangoes because they're too hard. With this juicer, you can't juice avocado, coconut, or banana.

Documentaries
"Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead"
(Joe Cross goes on a 60-day juice fast and inspires people across the United States to take the challenge.)


"Forks Over Knives"
(Poses the argument that a plant-based diet can heal our bodies and even cure cancer.)


"Naked on the Inside"
(A woman interviews a variety of people with body image issues - naked. Inspiring movie that can help shift the way we feel about our bodies.)


Websites/Written Blogs
Juice Fasting - has general information about fasting, blogs, recipes, what to expect
Michael Morales - 30-Day Juice Fast and a FREE downloadable e-book with guidelines and space for you to document your own journey
Good/Bad Produce for Juicing - my own compilation of fruits and veggies that are good/not so good to juice on a budget
Breaking a Fast - has information on lots of juicing topics, but especially helpful resource when you're ready to eat again

YouTube Blogs/Videos
Most Common Juicing Mistakes
Tim's 56-Day Juice Fast
Mia's 30-Day Juice Fast
Christine & Mary's 60-Day Juice Fast
Jenn's 120-Day Juice Fast

Yoga Studios
The Breathing Room
Easton Yoga

Teachers/Coaches/Healers
Gary Gibson - founder of The Vegan Effect, health/fitness coach
Danny Marshall - yoga teacher, Easton Yoga
Bonnie Harrison - healing energy practitioner
Bob Pileggi - life coach, ceremony officiant, Reiki practitioner, massage therapist, yoga instructor, and one of my favorite people on the planet

Books

- Fantastic book for juicing! Provides the pros AND cons of juice fasting along with recipes according to health benefits.


- Book about eating a raw, vegan diet. My source for Raw Week recipes.


- Just a great novel. I started reading this book on day one of the fast and it really helped preoccupy my mind. I recommend choosing a really interesting, fun book to read on your journey!


- Make your time on the fast as enjoyable as possible. I saw this book at Rachel's house an Easter and it made me laugh out loud. I posted one clip from the book already, but here's another - I dare you not to laugh!:

Conclusion: After the Fast

Today I officially weighed in at 219 pounds! So, to recap - I started this fast two months ago at 260 pounds and over the course of 60 days, I lost 41 pounds. Today I had a juice for breakfast, a juice and a handful of grapes for lunch, and then throughout the day I snacked on a handful of cashews. I think for dinner I might just have some raw veggies with sunflower seed cheese that I made in a food processor. It was easy to make - just sunflower seeds, lemon juice, some low sodium organic soy sauce, and a couple cloves of garlic. Yum. Then througout the weekend I'll follow a similar diet plan until Monday when I start making more complex raw, vegan meals for dinner. Here's a video of me eating my first food - and I also have some before and after pictures at the end:

I wanted to make a correction to yesterday's blog. This might border on too much information - but I think it's important, especially if there are people out there with similar experiences, or who may want to try this. I believed I had a urinary tract infection - but not all the symptoms aligned and it was persistent throughout the fast. I went to the doctor who really wasn't interested in my fast and didn't ask me any questions about it at all - even though it was the entire reason I was there. I mentioned that I thought I might have a UTI - and she said it was possible because I had some white cells in my urine. So she didn't test for bacteria or ask what I was eating on the fast - just gave me a prescription for antibiotics and sent me on my disappointed way. Luckily, the Universe stepped in. I happened upon a new blog by chance this morning - and the girl was saying that she wasn't juicing fruits because they can screw up the pH in the urine and increase yeast infections. I rechecked my symptoms online . . .and I am now 80% sure that because I was drinking so much fruit juice - I probably had a yeast infection the entire length of the fast. So I'm not taking the antibiotics - which also can cause yeast infections, and instead I took over-the-counter medication. If the problem clears up, I'll know not to have so much fruit next time. If it doesn't, I'll try the antibiotics.

This leads me to my next topic, which is that we are really the best judges of our own bodies. This fast reconnected me with my body. I was like a personality trapped in a flesh prison. I didn't like to even look in the mirror. I would avoid my reflection in store windows. I didn't want to feel my body - and eating highly processed, fatty, sugary, salty foods made the discomfort go away - and contributed to the problem. Doing this fast put me back in my body. I felt everything. I noticed every little pain, every hunger, every taste - good and bad. I noticed my energy level. I noticed my emotional state of being. I became my body. And for that alone, the fast was the best decision I ever made.

If you decide to do a juice fast - whether it's just 3 days, 7 days, 10 or more - let me know! I would love to hear about your journey and be a resource to you for support, to answer questions, to make you a juice, to give you recipes - you name it! I hope to continue blogging about my vegan journey. Stay tuned for tomorrow's post where I will put all the juice blogging resources I have together in one place!

Day 60

No straws left! It's bittersweet. I'm happy to have made it to the end and nervous to be back in the real world. I feel like a drug addict. I just finished my stay in rehab where there are no choices to be made, no temptations, no thinking . . .and now I have to face reality and see if the skills I learned and the strength of character I developed will carry through to my everyday life. Chuck insisted on taking a picture of me drinking my last juice of the fast:



Fast Negatives:
First few days: dry mouth/white coating on tongue (typical detox symptom)
I increased my fluid intake and this went away by the end of the week.

First week: flu/vertigo/extreme weakness/vomiting (I think I actually had the flu, but flu-like symptoms are also a detox symptom)
The night I was throwing up, I drank a cup of soy milk to combat the feeling of weakness. After the flu passed, I didn't have symptoms like this again.

Second week: acid reflux
I took one tablespoon of raw apple cider vinegar and it worked!

Day 30: constipation
I did an enema because I didn't want to take a pill or a laxative. I bought the kit from Target for less than $2 and it had two enemas in it. It was an immediate relief.

Day 50: constipation
I did the second enema.

Throughout: periods of irritability/cravings/passing hunger/symptoms of a urinary tract infection
Usually when I was cranky, hungry, or feeling a craving - immediately after drinking a juice I felt much better. I don't know what's up with the UTI. I don't know if it was fast-related or not. It was never so bad that I was concerned, but it was in the back of my mind a lot. I went to the doctor tonight and she confirmed from a urine sample that I probably had a urinary tract infection and prescribed an antibiotic. Edit:Found a different resource this morning which makes me think I had a yeast infection because of the high amount of fruit juice I was drinking. The symptoms align so I tried an over-the-counter medication instead of the antibiotics to clear up the problem and next time I'll cut down on the fruit.

Fast Positives:
I had more energy in general.
Drinking a fresh juice could lift my mood/energy immediately.
For the first time in my life, I ate for my body and not for my mind.
For the first time in my life, I considered my health.
I had a strong feeling of connection with my body, my mind, and the people in my life.
I realized what a strong network of support I have around me.
I exercised more.
I feel like I control food rather than using food to regulate me.
I'm excited about healthy eating.
I lost weight - about 40 pounds.
I am a happier human being.

I think doing this fast changed my life. It's premature to say that - but I feel like a new person.

I will be posting a post-fast reflection with before and after weight with pictures tomorrow! And I'll also be posting a list of resources for easy access to anyone who is considering doing a fast like this. I'm also thinking of continuing to blog possibly once a week to keep myself accountable. I can't wait to taste a fresh green grape!

Thank you so, so much to everyone who followed my blog and liked my posts and gave me constant feedback and encouragement! I really appreciate all of you. I'm lucky to know such amazing people. And thank you to my UTR family for making me feel so loved:

Day 59

I'm feeling tired today! Too tired to write a lot. Just a quick update to say I'm very excited that tomorrow is the last day. This morning, I put on a pair of pants and they weren't just too big - they were obnoxiously big and falling off my hips. But I was in a hurry so I wore them anyway. I was pulling them up all day. Maybe it's time to buy a new pair of pants . . .Just one. See you tomorrow for the last day!

Day 58

Yaaaaay. This is so surreal. Only two days to go. I'm starving right now! This morning, I got out of the shower and made my juice right away. Then before I drank it, I got my things together. I don't usually get ready for work in that order - so I ended up leaving my house with the fresh juice still sitting on my kitchen counter. Very sad! I had a V8 about 3:00pm and that's all I've had! No good! I have to run and make some juice before I end up eating a bite of Chuck's delicious-looking sandwich.

I'll be putting a resource page together shortly to post after Day 60. So many amazing people and movies and books have inspired me over the past 2 months! I'm very lucky to have experienced this.

Day 57

The last 10 days of the fast are just as hard as the first 10! I'm anticipating the end, so I'm getting anxious! I think it's the anticipation that's really making it difficult. One of my favorite bloggers, Tim, went to 56 days - so now I'm watching the post-fast blogs that he did. It's perfect timing because I get to see what breaking the fast is like for him before I attempt to do it.

Everything is going well! Not hungry . . .just lusting after solid food. I can't wait to eat a grape. And a cashew. And a strawberry! And a carrot . . . And . . .and . . .and . . .

Chuck just suggested testing the dehydrator with some apples, so I'm off to cut some apple slices with my new mandolin slicer!

Day 56

I'm starting to get nervous about coming off the fast. The best resource I found for breaking a fast was this website. A lot of people who come off the fast the wrong way experience pain because the lining of the stomach is too thin to digest food normally. They say it takes about 5 days to get back to normal. It's recommended to eat fruits or veggies high in water content in addition to juice for the first week. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I'm planning on juicing while grazing on raw fruits and veggies - they say watermelon is the best. And then I'll add a raw meal for dinner that Monday. Luckily, I have a doctor's appointment scheduled on Thursday night - so I'll find out from her exactly what's going to happen with my digestion!

In juice news, I'm down to 222 - which is 3 pounds lost this week and 38 pounds overall. I'm making a treat tonight - an apple pie juice. (3 apples and a spoonful of cinnamon) - But I'm also adding a bunch of spinach since it's technically my dinner. This is how we splurge on a juice fast!

The recipe came from the book Mom gave me - The Everything Juicing Book.

And a highlight of the day: I can do things in yoga I used to have to modify. I can cross my ankle over my thigh and put my foot flat on the ground and from downward dog, I can walk my feet all the way up to my hands. Woohoo!

Namaste, juice fasters!

Day 55

I spent about $70 at the Farmer's Market and also preparing for next week. I picked up some sun dried tomatoes, coconut water, and lots of seeds and nuts. The seeds and nuts are what really blew my budget and I don't think I got everything I need. I have to find the cheapest place for nuts. So far, it looks like the Farmer's Market is at least comparable to the grocery store.

And that's the most exciting news of the day. The rest of the day I spent cleaning up the mess I made yesterday when I pulled everything I owned out of my closets.

Five days to go! Skeptically excited.

Day 54

I try to never, ever watch Hoarders. I have a fear of becoming a hoarder. I hate having stuff. I go through bouts of wanting to just throw everything I own in the garbage and starting fresh with nothing. Unfortunately, I'm also a cluttery kind of person. Stuff just accumulates. Then I panic, and I start tearing everything out of my closets and filling bags of stuff I need to throw away immediately. Basically, this happens:



Right now is especially bad because every time I try to throw something away I think - Will I need this for my classroom? And on top of that, we downsized from a townhouse with four huge closets to a one-bedroom apartment with three medium sized closets.

I'm freaking out! I made some progress on organizing my junk, but I'm developing a headache so I think I'll go to bed early. I know how I'm spending my Saturday!

In juice news, everything is great!

Day 53

Late post after a VERY long day! Autism seminar all afternoon, followed by lots of social action blog-reading, and then a panel discussion on the Zuckerberg money. Lots of critical thinking. Too much for one day! I don't know why I thought I was going to get home around 8 or 9 - but I didn't get home until 10 and since I was running late this morning, I just had my only fresh juice of the day about an hour ago. I HAVE to try to get up earlier. I can't survive on V8 alone! I need something to laugh at:

Day 52

Two of my favorite YouTube bloggers, Tim and Mia, have started new juice fasts in the past week which is so exciting because now I can watch the videos in real time! Mia is doing a double fast with the double rainbow guy. Every single blogger I follow is now on their second or third juice fast. I'm inspired. Juice fasting can really be a life-changing undertaking. Juice fasting will show you how strong you are, what's really important in your life, the support system you really have . . .And you'll really begin to know your body. Feeling very grateful today!

And I have one unrelated side note. I don't hear a lot about bathroom habits on a juice fast - but I think it's important to mention that for me, constipation has been an issue on the fast. I read one or two blogs that mentioned the necessity for doing enemas on an extended fast and I have to agree. I did my second enema on Monday night and I felt much better. That's only two in 60 days - but just a heads up for anyone considering trying this.

Dinner time! I have spinach-carrot-pepper-apple juice on the menu. Yum.

Day 51

Just had my last lesson with Gary Gibson! Six months ago I signed up for his health coaching program, The Vegan Effect. I consider myself an expert diet-er. I've done Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Slimfast, counting calories, a 21-day Cleanse, way too many 3-day fad diets, SparkPeople . . .etc, etc, etc. I used to religiously run 3 miles around the Cooper River in Pennsauken, NJ. I ran a 5k a couple of years ago. I've hiked 20 miles through the Appalachian Trail. I did weight training programs. I've trained on bikes, rowers, treadmills - used every weight machine in multiple gyms. All of these things work! But none of them stuck. So the weight would start to come off, I would get tired of whatever I was doing, and the weight would come back on. I realized that while I was doing these things, two things never mattered to me. Health and nutrition. I didn't care if I was healthy. I didn't care what I was putting into my body - as long as it wasn't an animal. I think the reason I didn't care, is that I was healthy. I had to have a physical when I got into my grad school program - and every number was normal. Cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure - you name it. So who cares?

Honestly, I was hesitant to commit to 6 months of health and nutrition being shoved down my throat. What if I got tired of it? What if I didn't commit? It would be a waste of time and money. And for the first few months, it was. I would follow some direction - but I wasn't whole-heartedly invested. Because it really didn't matter to me. And my habits - my addictions - were so strong that I couldn't realistically see me ever breaking them. I was convinced that all I had to do was figure out a way to lose weight by still getting my daily fix of Wendy's french fries.

I started to feel bad that I wasn't changing the way I was eating. I felt accountable to Gary. I felt guilty that I would show up having done virtually nothing that he asked. He kept mentioning the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. (Which I think you can watch for free on Hulu!) And I kept putting off watching it. Finally, I figured the least I could do was watch a stupid movie. So I did. And that was it.

For the first time, I actually think about food as energy. I actually think about food in terms of what it can do for my body - my mental and physical health. For the first time, I imagine a life in which I eat to live. I'm hoping this is the revolutionary shift in thinking that really changes my relationship with food.

Having been on my juice fast now for 51 days, all of Gary's lessons take on a whole new meaning than they did when I didn't care about health. I can't wait to eat - but I can't wait to eat in a NEW way. I'm excited to eat an alkaline diet. A raw diet. A vegan diet. I've always been a cautiously optimistic kind of person. So I won't say I'm changed for life. But I can say I've never felt this way before.

If you're thinking about changing the way you eat or you're looking for health coaching or fitness coaching or you just want more information - definitely, definitely check out his website! I thought I had heard everything there was to hear about healthy eating. But I was way wrong! He offered so much information that was totally brand new to me - and pushed me into an entirely new way of living. And it doesn't matter where you are in the world, because he Skypes.

I had to dedicate a blog to Gary - because he's the reason this is happening at all! Thanks, Gary.

Day 50

Day 50 - only 10 more days to go!! I drank some of the leftover juice from Easter for breakfast and my stomach was upset all morning. You really need fresh juice to get the most benefit from the fruits and veggies.

We spent Easter in Easton, PA with Chuck's family. It was probably the hardest event I've experienced since being on the fast. We had a vegan BBQ - all homemade. Vegan chicken patties, grilled veggies, vegan potato salad, asparagus, vegan jerky, vegan mint chocolate chip cupcakes, homemade truffles. I just stood next to the grill soaking in the delicious smells. Like I've probably written a hundred times this week - I'm ready to eat again!

I was able to borrow a food dehydrator - so aside from the produce and a few more spices, I'm ready to begin making some amazing raw, vegan dishes. And my stomach literally just rumbled while re-reading that sentence. Time to make some juice!

Day 49

Weigh-in day! Last week my weight was 230 pounds. This morning, I weighed in at 225 pounds. That's a pleasantly surprising 5 pound weight loss for the week and 35 pounds overall. I attribute the extra weight loss to my dedication to the Wii over Spring Break. I spent 30 minutes a day stepping all week. I love the Wii!

I'm about to make a big pitcher of pineapple, orange, strawberry juice with a hint of romaine lettuce for Easter dinner. Even with the extra produce, I only spent $25 at the Farmer's Market. I'm not looking forward to my bigger grocery bill next week, when I have to buy my supplies to start preparing for Raw Week. I've been preparing for my week of raw food little by little. So far, I picked up some tahini, organic soy sauce, agave nectar, and some spices I didn't have - like cayenne pepper and coriander. I spent about $40 stocking my kitchen. The thing that's really going to blow my budget is the insane amount of nuts I need to cook raw for two people for a week. My first stop will be our local vegetarian health food store - because although the prices are outrageous, there's usually a good sale on nuts, like buy one get one free. So an $8 bag of cashews will turn into a $4 bag. That's a good deal.

Ok, that's it for today! Tomorrow marks the beginning of the 10-day countdown!

Day 48

I've been blogging ALL DAY! I had to spend the day catching up on school work and needed to update the blog for a social action project I'm doing with the PreK. So basically I'm taking a break from blogging - to blog. So this will be short and sweet:

Chuck and I went down to visit my parents yesterday and Mom made a delicious juice for dinner - carrot, apple, pear. Then we tried a sparkling lemon-lime - which was way, way, way too strong! Here we are, in juice heaven:



She also gave me an awesome book on juicing which has a lot of pros and cons as well as recipes that help with specific health goals - like weight loss, detoxification, constipation, infections, joint pain, etc, etc . . .Lots of great stuff! It's really an interesting book because while it does detail all the benefits of juicing, it provides warnings and concerns about juicing, too.

It's called The Everything Juicing Book by Carole Jacobs and Chef Patrice Johnson. I highly recommend it! This is the first page from the book, which you can see on Amazon:

Top Ten Reasons to Juice:
1. Juicing can help you get your nine recommended servings of fruits and vegetables.
2. Juicing is good for digestive health. It aids digestion and can ease conditions such as acid reflux and ulcers.
3. Juicing can help alleviate allergies and respiratory disorders.
4. Juicing can boost your immune system and help your body resist and fight infections.
5. Juicing can help reduce high blood pressure and high levels of bad cholesterol.
6. The fruits and vegetables you use in juicing are very high in antioxidants, which are revered for their anti-aging properties. But antioxidants also improve circulation, contribute to cardiovascular health, enhance brain function, and reduce the negative effects of stress.
7. Juice is high in beneficial vitamins and minerals. It can also help you get enough fiber, protein, and unsaturated fats.
8. Commercial juices often contain added sugars and preservatives. By juicing your own fruits and vegetables, you can tailor your juices to your tastes and needs.
9. Juicing is a low-calorie way to boost your energy level so you can enjoy life more.
10. Juice is simple to make and tastes delicious!

Day 47

I had a nightmare last night that I ate a Dunkin' Donuts munchkin without thinking. Just popped it in my mouth. As I was swallowing, I realized I was still on the fast. It was horrifying! I don't even like donuts.

In other stress-related news, I'm starting to realize that Spring Break is almost over and I have done virtually no catching up of school work. I prepared all my materials for next week - but I didn't update the social action blog, didn't put together a plan for action research, didn't work on the e-portfolio. So that's it! Tomorrow is a work day. And whatever I get done, I get done.

At least I remembered to go to the library before it closed for the weekend. I just discovered Tomie dePaola. I love Strega Nona and I just found a picture book called Pancakes for Breakfast. I love the illustrations. When I return these books, I'm going to swipe all the dePaola books I can get my hands on.

Day 46

I have two weeks to go! I am dreaming of the vegan sunflower seed cheese and no-bean hummus I'm planning to make for the weekend of my return to solid foods. I want it NOW!

I discovered last night that when I don't have my juice at my regularly scheduled meal time - I get irritable very quickly. One minute I was fine, and the next - I was so, so crabby. I had cravings and hunger and general moodiness. But Chuck and I were on the road back from the beach, so I had to wait for my juice. When I finally got my juice, I could really feel the effects in a matter of minutes. I could feel that my body needed nutrients and I couldn't wait to get it in my system. I'm usually more prepared, so I have never experienced this need-to-power-my-body feeling so strongly.

Ugh. I'm ready to eat again!

Day 45

Feeling very relaxed and blissed out right now. In a very Zen state of mind. I went to have my energy balanced this morning. I don't know if scientifically anything really happens to the body during a "healing energy" session - but there's a definite shift in emotional state of being, if you allow it.

I first experienced reiki when I was in college, getting my BA in music with a concentration in classical piano. I would get intense stage fright anytime I had to perform, which was at least twice a semester. I seriously considered electing to fail the performance portion of my grade instead of going on stage. It was an intensely stressful experience, and I needed a way to calm my anxiety. And the Universe sent Bob Pileggi. I saw his ad for reiki and decided to check it out. When I arrived, I felt extremely tight, closed off, shut down, nervous, internal . . .but after the reiki experience I felt calm, open, light, loving. (And on a side note, I graduated magna cum laude from Moravian with my BA in music - and never got less than a B on a performance grade.)That was 3 or 4 years ago and it was such a heart-opening experience - mostly because of Bob - that I still make the trip to Philadelphia once a month to see him. He's such a supportive, loving person. I only went for reiki the first time, and after that - I would go for his insight, his support, his guided meditations, his breathing strategies. I highly, highly recommend spending an hour with Bob! Knowing him has shifted my entire perspective on my life and opened many doors I never would have explored otherwise. And for people not wanting to drive all the way to Philly, he Skypes, too. Check out his website and see for yourself!

Over the summer I was looking for someone locally who did reiki, and I found Bonnie Harrison. Located right down the street in Hackettstown, she is a nurse who is certified in healing touch - which is similar to reiki. Since the 60 day fast is a type of detox, I thought it might be a good idea to support my physical detox with an energy detox. I don't know what's really going on in my body or my energy - but I know I feel totally relaxed and filled with love and light! So, whatever. I'm a believer!

Peace and love, juice fasters!

Day 44

I didn't buy much at the Farmer's Market this week. New items that I haven't juiced before include romaine lettuce and peaches. Standard favorites include apples, miniature bell peppers, and strawberries. I still had plenty of carrots, lemons, limes, and broccoli. So my total was only $14. Lots of the juice vloggers on YouTube talk about how expensive fasting is - but if you get fruits and veggies that yield a lot of juice, I really think you can minimize your spending. I don't even spend a quarter of what I used to spend on groceries. All your leafy greens yield low amounts of juice - but you don't need to fill the cup with spinach juice. Buy your green veggies and throw in a few handfuls to every drink and you won't blow your budget. I made a list of budget friendly and not-so-friendly produce. I still buy some of the items on the not-so-friendly list, I just don't buy them every time and I don't put them in every drink.

Produce to Buy on a Budget:
apples
carrots
celery
watermelon
peppers
strawberries (These can be expensive, but the flavor is so strong that you only ever need to add 3 or 4 to any drink.)
oranges
lemons
limes
grapes

Produce to Avoid on a Budget:
blueberries
raspberries
cucumbers (Yields lots of juice, but at $1 per cucumber - not worth it. Plus I think it tastes gross. It's your call!)
mangoes
broccoli
pears
pineapple (I love pineapple juice, but they run about $3, two for $5 when there's a sale. I only buy them on sale.)

That's all I can think of right now. If anyone else has tips, feel free to comment. Happy juicing!

Day 43

I went to yoga yesterday morning and I'm definitely feeling it in my abs today. So sore! I love Sunday morning yoga with Danny Marshall. All the teachers at Easton Yoga are great, but Danny is my favorite! It's almost a religious experience, which is why I always say I'm at the "Church of Yoga" on Sunday mornings. A few things that make Sunday morning yoga different than other yoga classes:

1. Danny always takes a few minutes before we start to encourage us to set an intention. And he reminds us that the intention doesn't have to be for yourself. You can dedicate your practice to someone who may need some healing energy or positive thoughts.

2. All the teachers at Easton Yoga give lots of alternatives, suggestions for propping, reminders that you can take a break, etc. That's important because even if you don't need the modification, it's a reminder that your practice is your own - and it's not a competition. It's about doing the best for your own body. And when you make a modification - Danny praises you!

3. Danny is the only teacher I've had that takes an intentional approach to coming in and out of balancing postures. His mantra is "strength, grace, and control." And he reminds you in balancing postures that you can use what you learn in the studio out in the real world. When you're angry, when you're under pressure, when there's a temptation of any kind - remember the balancing poses. And that idea of strength, grace, and control has kept me from ruining the juice fast more than once.

4. At the end of the practice, we bring our hands in prayer position up to the forehead - to remember to keep positive thoughts and clear intentions, and to our lips to remember to speak the truth, and to our hearts to remember to live with compassion and love.

As a former Catholic, the Sunday morning class really resonates with me. I remember when the Gospel was read in church, we would make the sign of the cross with our thumb across our forehead, our lips, and our heart. For me, it was the most meaningful moment of the service - and it's kismet that I experience it now in a similar - but new - spiritual way.

So if you're in the Lehigh Valley - go check out Danny's classes!

Day 42

It's Sunday! That means I get to use the scale all day long. Last week I was 233 and this week I'm weighing in at 230 pounds. So that's 3 pounds for the week and 30 pounds over all. It seems like 3 is the magic number, so I hope by the end of the fast to be down to 220. I don't have much time left!

At the beginning of the fast I was dreaming of couscous and soup. But I've realized that my original plan may not be the best way to transition. So my new plan is to juice for breakfast and lunch on the 61st day, and then my first solid food will be a miniature sweet bell pepper - raw. I've been watching my mentor teacher eat them all week and they look so amazingly delicious. They smell so sweet and peppery, and the crunch is so clean. Yum. Then I'll munch on raw veggies and drink juice for the rest of the weekend and start "cooking" raw meals the following week.

I'm trying to brace myself for the fact that I will probably gain a few pounds the week after I start eating again, but that this will pass and as long as I keep it up, I should continue to lose after the fast is over by eating mostly raw, staying vegan, and cutting out the oils.

Let the countdown begin! 18 days to go!

Day 41

Very happy and healthy day 41! I am pleased to report that I had the first urge to go to the bathroom since the enema fiasco last weekend - and everything went very smoothly! No pain, no constipation. I think I might be completely cleaned out.

And in even more exciting news, I decided to try on some clothes that don't fit me, just to see how much or how little my body is really shifting. Honestly, I do not see the change in myself - but I do feel a difference in my clothes. I decided to try on a shirt I had from Halloween that I wore once - it was tight - and after I washed it I couldn't squeeze into it again. It fit! I couldn't believe it. I decided to go a step further and try on a pair of pants I had buried at the bottom of my closet. I had almost donated them, but decided to hold onto them a little longer. They fit, too! I'm in shock. And it's motivating. Even though I can't see the difference, I know that I could not fit into these clothes. And I can now.

Here's a Day 41 before and after:

Day 40

Day 40! Yay! Only 20 more days to go. I was exhausted when I got home today and I fell asleep on the couch pretty quickly. I ended up having a nightmare that I was at a party and everytime I got back to my seat, I would realize I forgot another thing I wanted to put on my plate. So I would get up and get a slice of pizza, and realize I wanted ranch dressing, and then I would realize I wanted a soda, and then I would realize I wanted pretzels, and then cubes of cheese. I'm pretty sure this is because I didn't juice when I got home before I took a nap - and now I'm starving! So I'm going to have dinner and leave the dream behind.

Day 39

I believe that people are born with certain personality traits that just feel more natural and authentic. I have always been a more reserved, introverted, reflective, introspective kind of person. I don't like big places. I don't like crowds. And I spent many, many years fighting that natural inclination to be more alone. To be more quiet. Why can't I be comfortable in groups? Why can't I make friends quickly? Why can't I be more x, y, or z?

But maybe the real question is why is it not OK to feel those things? Maybe these are things that don't have to be changed. All people cannot be all things. I am an inherently more quiet human being. And that's just the way it is. I finally feel like I'm making peace with me. I absolutely believe in personal growth and change - but maybe before we can really grow and change - we have to accept and respect ourselves for being the best we can be in this moment. Until we own ourselves, wanting to change comes from a place of "I'm not good enough." That kind of change is not loving or meaningful - and maybe that's why it's not lasting, either. When we are good and loved and lovable the way we are - then maybe we just begin to change naturally. Because we know what we want and what makes us happy. And we deserve it.

All that to say, my natural inclination was to decline Happy Hour with my cohort this afternoon. But a willingness to feel whatever came up for me naturally in order to be with a group of people that makes me happy allowed me to make a different decision. I am so grateful for my UTR family!

Day 38

I've been "stepping" on the Wii and at first I thought it was too easy. But when I woke up this morning, I could feel it in my calves. Monday I did about 45 minutes and today I did 30. It's great because, as a reality TV junkie, I can watch TV and step at the same time. The Wii remote keeps the beat and says motivational things every 100 steps.

Everything else is going smoothly. I can't wait to eat something. I also can't believe how far I've come since Day 1. I'm happy to be far, far away from just beginning.

Day 37

I'm in love with another 60-day juice faster's Youtube channel. These ladies are adorable. They offer resources, opinions, reflections - and they have such soothing voices.

The weight is dropping at a normal rate now - so not as exciting as it was in the first few weeks. But I'm starting to feel the difference in the way my clothes fit. Until this week, I really couldn't feel or see a change in my body. Now, while I still don't see anything - the pants are definitely sagging in places.

One thing that prevents me from breaking the fast in a weak moment is something one of my favorite yoga teachers says in class. When we are doing a balancing pose he always says - try to come out the way you went in. Be conscious about putting your foot back on the ground when you're letting go of tree pose instead of falling out of it. I don't want to "fall out" of the fast. I want it to be intentional. So I'm thinking before taking action. And it has saved me. 37 days strong!

Day 36

I feel so much better today! Still feeling the risidual effects of the enema - but I'm fully functioning and not in as much pain as yesterday. I'm trying to convince Chuck to come out for a walk - but if he doesn't agree to come, I'm going to avoid going out in the wind and I'll spend some time on the Wii instead. I'm thinking of having the rest of the pineapple in my veggie juice tonight. And that's all I have to report!