Healing Hashimoto's: Day 2

I didn't expect to go through any kind of withdrawal symptoms. I mean, I'm a vegan that drinks nothing by water. What kind of an addiction could I possibly withdrawal from? Um . . .gluten! And SUGAR! By noon on the first day, I had a headache and I was exhausted. I took a nap in the afternoon hoping to alleviate the pain but it persisted.

If day one was the physical withdrawal, day two was the emotional withdrawal. I regulate by eating. If I'm too happy, too sad, too angry, too much adrenaline, too little energy . . .anything and everything is solved by eating. My habit is eating for the sensation. Never for health. Never for hunger. So that means two things:

One: I have little desire to eat. I find myself just putting things into my mouth to avoid fainting for lack of nutrition or to stop my stomach from growling. I don't have the food knowledge or cooking experience to really just KNOW what to eat. I know what to eat for a quick-fix good feeling. I know a pretzel will make me forget the flat tire I had this morning. I know a peanut chew will calm the adrenaline high from my first experience practice-teaching a yoga class. So two . . .

Two: After today's highs and lows I wanted nothing more than to numb out with my salty sweet gluten and sugar combo. I didn't. But I wanted to. I found myself not knowing what to do with my feelings. So today consisted of lots of tears.

Funny to think I'm crying over a pretzel. But it's more than that. It's fear. It's actually feeling emotion. It's withdrawal. And it's the end of Day 2! Each day in is one day closer to comfort. One day closer to the new normal.

In actual food news - I found an interesting recipe for vegan feta cheese that I tried tonight. The feta base was crumbled tofu and it was flavored with herbs, spices, vinegar, and olive oil. I put the "feta cheese" with steamed spinach into a portabello mushroom cap and baked it in the oven. I thought it was good. And very feta-like. But then again, I haven't had feta in a long, long time.