I found it a lot easier to meditate in a room full of other people who were also meditating. My mind wandered less, I felt more calm . . .and it helped that someone was guiding the breaths. I've found than I can track the breath and think about "nothing" from time to time, but it feels very similar to numbness. My goal is to do less numbing out and more tuning in. Figure out what's going on inside my body. What's underneath.
After savasana, as I started to push myself away from the floor, I noticed the shades of brown in the wood. The chaotic texture of swirls. And later, on my walk with Maggie, I saw a bluebird and noticed the warmth of sun on my skin. This is what I was hoping for. Noticing more. Being more present. This is what I wanted from the meditation experiment.
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