Introduction: Before the 21 Days

It was a particularly busy day at the bank. I had planned on only taking a quick lunch and not taking my break at home, as I sometimes do. But by the time it was my turn, I was so tired and frustrated - I decided to take advantage of every last minute of my hour-long lunch break. I was hungry and as is typical of me, I didn't want to get out of my car to get something to eat. I stopped at Burger King for my usual veggie burger, fries, and a diet coke. When I arrived at home, I snuggled up on the couch with my deliciously fattening comfort foods and turned on the TV. Lunches had been running late and I don't always go home for my break, so I'm not usually home at that time of day - but Ellen happened to be on, so I watched. Her guest was Kathy Freston and she was talking about a 21-day cleanse to get rid of all the toxins in your body and kind of reboot your system. I was fascinated by what she was saying and the tofu wrap they were displaying looked amazing. I felt like it was fate that I should be watching TV, guiltily chowing down on my customary lunch of french fries, hating the rut I was in - at the exact moment a solution was being presented to me. I knew I wanted to read the book she was promoting.

I had been feeling stuck. Disillusioned. Unhealthy. Unpretty. Even unworthy of existing at all. A few years ago I had successfully lost 50 pounds, but that was when I had one full-time job and only went to school part-time - taking mostly online classes at a community college. Since taking on the overwhelming task of going back to school full-time and still trying to work as much as possible to pay my bills, I haven't been able to get back that drive. I've been pretty much one thing: exhausted. Every last pound I had lost is back - with a vengeance.

Right after work, I bought "The Quantum Wellness Cleanse" and read it cover to cover. I'm ready to honor my body. When I became a vegetarian five years ago, I didn't call myself a vegetarian. I just consciously stopped eating meat little by little until one day it had been months since I had eaten any meat, poultry, seafood, or gelatin - and it was official. I see the 21-day cleanse as the same kind of battle. I was afraid to change my lifestyle - only to ultimately fail. This is just a 21-day challenge. Not a diet. Not a commitment for life. I'm just trying this experiment.

Freston recommends journaling for three days before starting the cleanse to monitor your eating habits. Today is my third day before the cleanse, and I've learned that because I feel tired a lot, I don't want to spend time cooking food or planning meals. I just want instant gratification. That makes me feel guilty because I want to be able to cook delicious, healthy meals for the family I hope to someday have. I've found that I can usually shut guilt up with a cookie. I also know that if I don't have a diet coke by noon, I get intense headaches. I'm ready to stop being a slave to chemicals and additives that shouldn't be in my body. As a vegetarian, I'm ready to take a more powerful stand against the animal agriculture industry. I'm ready to feel full of energy and proud of what I'm putting into my body. I'm ready to honor myself and hopefully this will help keep me accountable.

I officially begin the cleanse tomorrow - which means I will be giving up caffeine, gluten, sugar, alcohol, and all animal proteins - including dairy - for 21 days. For the sake of science, I'll admit that I'm starting the cleanse at 254 pounds with very nervous feelings that I won't be able to do this. But if I don't try, I'll never know . . .